I need a happy pill.
To chase away my sadness

I need a efficiency pill.
So that I can achieve more in my classes.

I need a control pill.
So that I can have better control of my emotions.

I need a bochup pill.
So that I will not get hurt when I'm not appreciated for my efforts.

I need a health pill.
So that I will be healthy both mentally and physically.

I need a numbing pill.
To numb myself against the pain that I might inflict upon myself just for caring

I just need a pill. An all-purpose pill that will cure me of all the poison in my life.

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Yesterday was a thoroughly bad day. First I wasn't feeling well. Then I broke down after my class. After that i had three more lessons which i had to control my emotions. I compensate by eating a really good meal. Then it was CCA time. After which I received news that the weekend i have been looking forward to the whole week isn't going to happen. It was really bad in general really.

But something good did come out of it. Me and A had the "are we in love" conversation. Long overdue really. But well. Yeah. for the first time in my entire life, i actually admitted that I love someone over the phone. without heart palpitations no less. I feel brave just saying it. hahahaha. But yea. It's a start. Where it will lead to, no one knows for sure. But at least now it's in the open. Not cleared up but it's in the open definitely. I feel good having said it. So how things work out, I don't know. But i was honest to my heart for once. so that's good enough for me. This one event did make the day better. a whole lot better really.