I was having dinner and dessert with Y and M last night and we were talking about, as usual, school, students, work, etc. Just as I was comparing the students between ADSS and current school, M said, maybe I should stop doing the comparison. It's killing me. I can understand her point of view. I shouldn't use my past experiences as a basis for comparison and let it colour the way i teach or kill my passion for the job. But honestly, that 6-7 mths were the best days of my teaching life. I was really teaching. Here, i'm merely standing in a class and talking. In fact, I realised that I minimised the talk time alot already. It seems like I don't even want to make an effort in communicating. I knew I wanted to be a teacher or reaffirm my beliefs when I was teaching in ADSS. So it's very dificult to just erase the whole episode and not use it as point of reference. We all have moments in the classroom where we go, "Yes! I am a teacher. I am teaching the kids something of value." I don't have that moment yet in this school. I feel inefficient and lousy. So maybe until I found that moment, I am never going to stop looking back at the ADSS days.