I think i have carried this for long enough. It's time to let go. Like i said i would and learn to be a happier person. It's for the best. Whose best i'm not too sure. But I'm sure both parties will benefit. I can hear my own tone. I can hear yours too. It's good. Let's keep it as such. We are friends. Just keep it there and never let it become ambiguous again. The ambiguity caused more hurt than anything else in this relationship/arrangement or whatever we wanna call it.

Maybe through it all i have learnt to be more numb towards everything.. I have also start to think that i'm not worthy. But why should i have those thoughts? I loved. I truly loved. I have the ability to love one who's flawed and not mind the flaws. Yet at the same time i have been scorned, my love has been scorned. It is not good enough. Or in your way of thinking, too good.

I have to leave. Emotionally. You have left. Physically. We have both left the emotional battle field. I believe we both have our share of wounds. Maybe it's good to leave before anyone or both of us gets killed in this battle. A lot of words left unspoken between the two of us. Yet I feel this silence cannot and should not be broken. Otherwise, it will break my resolve to put it all down.. to walk away..

I shall do what Dumbledore did.. Look into my memories and pull those of you out and put in in a pansieve. And there it will stay.. Lock the pansieve up somewhere where unlocking means death. Maybe like that island that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had put a part of his soul at. It is like leaving a bit of my soul somewhere. Hoping that this will save the whole. But it will also means always missing a piece of the whole.