One whole day of meetings... wish me luck... *stomach turning* adverse effect of the air in a different part of Singapore.

A new blogskin
Changed my blogskin. love the pictures but this skin doesn't display the title of the post. Not that it really matters. If by reading my post and you don't know what i'm trying to express, then i'm not such a good writer afterall.

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Resolutions - never make any
I never make resolutions. Because then I would have to break them. I would rather just take life as it goes. Some short term goals are good and thinking about the future is also healthy. But I shall not over-stress myself too much. When the time comes for decisions to be made, I'll hopefully know what to do.

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Classes I am serious about taking (this list will grow)
1. Spanish class. (if all things work out, I should have my first lesson in January)
2. Scrapbook-ing. (Probably doing a starter's class then see how)
3. Dance, focus would probably be on Latino dances.
4. Drama for teaching.

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That's it for now. I don't intent to fall into a relationship. If it happens, it happens. If not, I'd continue leading my carefree, passport-in-the-bag life.

This post will be predominantly written in Chinese because i'm so good at it (ha! not!). just like the sounds of chinese words sometimes.. just like how i would always prefer Chinese songs to English. English tunes are catchy but everlasting evergreens belongs to another generation of English songs... oh who cares about my song preferences.. here goes...

年終至此，心中有很多情感交錯。

有歡喜，有悲傷，有喜中帶悲，也有喜從悲來。

人生本來就一定有起浮不定，沒有任何一件事是理所當然的。

這一年，我走出了父母的窩，開始了自己獨立的生活，雖然不容易

但有一種快樂，因為我知道我能。

感情上，雖然沒有一張像樣的 result slip，不過我體會了什麼是愛一

個人的全部，也認知什麼是愛的越深，痛的越痛。

也懂得什麼是愛一個人並非絕對要擁有。愛一個人真的需要勇氣，因

為愛給於我們希望，不過我們也要學會面對失敗的可能性。

工作上，還屬於剛開始。雖然沒有很多successes，也還沒到陷落谷

低的低潮。

But I have fantastic colleagues which is much more important.

(yes this is where I abandon writing in Chinese)

I guess looking back at 2007, I would say, not much have changed yet so much had. I'm at another level yet nothing much around me has changed. What's changed is the emotional landscape I'm in, my mentality, My cynicism reaching another level, my attitude towards marriage or any kind of commitment. Personality-wise, I seemed to understand myself more. I have asked myself, at some point in the later half of the year whether i'm in the right job, why i gave up theatrical work, or even why didn't i try performing? Too many questions have come up and i'm not sure when I would find the answers or whether when i find them, I would be ready to admit it. Time will eventually tell. What's in the past can only serve as a constant reminder to our failings and we learn from them.

Here's to a great 2008! One of the things I have resolved to do is pick up Spanish. Going to Movida so much, and hearing the band sing in Spanish makes me want to know what is the meaning of the words. Of course it will help when i want to talk to any of them. It will be cool too. :) So yes, that's the one thing I'm super resolved to do and I will make time and I will learn to stick to it.

It's almost time to say goodbye to 2007. I have said my thanks to a few of my friends when we gathered for wine on Christmas Eve. And no, it wasn't my drunken stupor that was talking but being slightly dislodged from my usual rational self helped. There are perhaps other people I should thank, one of which would be my sister. I know that it has not been easy for her to help me keep the secret but she has never discouraged or said anything nasty so i'm glad. Compared to some of my friends who have terrors as their siblings, I can only thank God that I don't have a psychotic one. :p Friends... there are some i need to catch up with, and there are some i might have subconsciously let go of. But we'll see.. like i said, 2008, new year, new beginnings!

I have decided. I will not get my MacBook. Because I got myself a new digital camera. I went to Mustafa to change money for my Taipei trip. They didn't have the currency or something so I walked ard and decided to buy the new Sony Cybershot T2 in Pink. what other colour right? heehee.. I bought a bright pink suitcase as well. So now, I would prob check out the Gucci and Coach in DFS to see whether anything catches my eyes and will not burn a hole in my pockets. Can't tell you guys about the new camera yet since I have not started using it. But I shall list the basic specs here:

1. Bright Pink! :p
2. 4GB INTERNAL memory. Yes no memory card UNLESS you want to have one.
3. 8.1 megapix
4. 3X optical zoom
5. ISO 3200 Max
6. touch screen



Anyway.. I'm bringing the cam for my trip so we'll see the picture quality. Thus far the test shots i have done show rather sharp pictures even when I zoomed in. So it remains to be seen. I am only convinced that cybershot is good after my Sony Ericsson Phone which comes with the CS camera and I must say it's a performer. So have to print out some of the photos as point of comparison. The bummer thus far is software not working on Mac. But I figured as long as i can upload my photos to my Mac i'm fine i don't really need another photo software.

Went and watched the christmas concert yesterday. a good mix of humour and stirring emotions, the performers were good singers and performers in their own rights. But it really reminded me that (1) i have not sang in a choir in a very long time (and i miss that terribly because choir in JC was like a sub-family that i had) (2) I have not had a real christmas for a long time. It has become just another public holiday. (3) I really miss some people. So when John Lee sang Come Home, and added geylang sipaku geylang inside, it went straight to my heart and I teared. the line "pulang marilah pulang, marilah pulang bersama sama" translated to the effect of come back, come back together. So yeah...

It was real touching to see Tan Kheng Hua singing with her daughter, Swee Lin came to sing with Kay Siu, and all the people on stage resembles a family that was brought together by their love of performing, with the common purpose of spreading the love and spirit of christmas. Of course there was the funny parts like Hossan's talking about chinese people and how they eat anything that moves, or having to eat frog's legs before sports day and pig's brain before examinations. it's remembering the traditional ways with a spot of humour; Pam with her disturbed rock chick who was traumatised when she saw mummy kissing santa claus when she was 9 and further traumtised when she saw daddy kissing santa claus when she was 14. Sebastian did a ge-tai/hokkien-ish version of Rudolph the Red nosed Reindeer, telling the story of "pui kia" aka santa claus. That was totally hilarious. Then we have Selena telling the Christmas Story using musical songs we are familiar with. All in all, good fun and laughter with a reminder what Christmas is all about.

This is the one where I went for a real good meal.

Event: Ca' Del Bosco Wine Dinner
Venue: GARIBALDI Italian Bar and Restaurant

The food was really good! definitely pricey but it was good. The food was paired with 5 wines. Yes. I was woozy at the end of the meal. No wait.. Make that woozy after pre-dinner drinks and gradually working to a real good buzz through the meal. but it was fun. So we asked Jan to tell us where there is a real good deal. We'll see. :)

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This is the one where I went mad shopping at M.A.C.

I bought 5 items from M.A.C. yesterday. I'm a sucker for make-up. But I would like to think of them as worthwhile investments. I mean this is one thing that I really like and I'm rather good at it. So yes, next to shoes, cosmetics is my other obsessions. So here goes... let me show you the items...









These are the pigments. The warm colours on top and the cool colours at the bottom. Very nice effect BUT not really the easiest to control. The lighter colours are still fine but have to watch the darker colours. Need to put tissue underneath the eye to catch the excess. But other than that, my tip would be to have a good base. For me, because creases are a problem, I have to use the primer AND the paint pots as base. A very good colour to have would be M.A.C. Paint Pot in Bare Study. You can wear it on its own or use it as a base for the other colours.



This is the eyeshadow palette. I bought it for the gold and silver highlights (that would be the two colours right at the top) and the beautiful casing. I love it when M.A.C. comes out with their different thematic casings. They are usually very pretty. The colours sometimes do repeat themselves. But a plus would be you have the essentials. So as long as you practice, nothing can go wrong.





The lip glosses. The one on the left is the VIVA GLAMOUROUS combi. Very pleasant set of 3 colours, very everyday-use. Plus the money actually goes to the AIDS funds that M.A.C. has, so you are doing a good deed too. The other palette, ROYAL ASSETS red lips, has the real intense red colours... the bright red and the deep red with the gold gloss. This will give the very Marilyn Monron red lips (using the red in the middle) If you wanna go matt, then don't use the gloss. The other red is a very deep berry red which kinda go with my hair colour at the moment. Very nice. Coupled with dark eye make-up (read: black or dark blues) gives a very goth look. Which I had last night at the wine dinner. Perfect with my lacey outfit. :)

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张惠妹-如果你也听说

突然发现站了好久
不知道要往哪走
还不想回家的我
再多人陪只会更寂寞

许多话题关于我
就连我也有听过
我的快乐要被认可
委屈却没有人诉说

夜把心洋葱般剥落
拿掉防卫剩下什么
为什么脆弱时候
想你更多

如果你也听说
有没有想过我
想普通旧朋友
还是你依然会心疼我

好多好多的话想对你说
悬着一颗心没着落
要怎么附和
舍不得又无可奈何

如果你也听说
会不会相信我
对流言会附和
还是你知道我还是我

跌跌撞撞才明白了许多
懂我的人就你一个
想到你想起我
胸口依然温柔

许多话题关于我
就连我也有听过
我想我宁可都沉默
其实反而显得做作

夜把心洋葱般剥落
拿掉防卫剩下什么
为什么脆弱时候
想你更多

如果你也听说
有没有想过我
想普通旧朋友
还是你依然会心疼我

好多好多的话想对你说
悬着一颗心没着落
要怎么附和
舍不得又无可奈何

如果你也听说
会不会相信我
对流言会附和
还是你知道我还是我

跌跌撞撞才明白了许多
懂我的人就你一个
想到你想起我
胸口依然温柔

如果你也听说
有没有想过我
想普通旧朋友
还是你依然会心疼我

跌跌撞撞才明白了许多
冷漠的人就你一个
想到你想起我
胸口依然温柔

如果你想起我
你会想到什么

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Have been listening to new songs and this is yet another one that spoke to me. I think as the year ends and I do an evaluation of the year, this has been a year where nothing major happened, yet I think emotionally I have taken quite a beating, personal love life (the non-existance, the admitting and the rejection part), career (handling people i work with). These songs (plus the one i posted one 2 to 3 posts ago, and others that might come along) really reflects how i feel about my personal love life. Sometimes, we really wonder how people think of us? Do they think of us fondly? Or cringe when our names are mentioned? Cringed because it was a bad memory or guilt that hangs over their head?

I realised that after that Someone left, i wanted to be despondent and use physical intimacy as a way of escape. I did not succeed. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I reminded myself it won't have mattered to him, or even if he did, he would just say I was silly. And no I do not want to be a silly girl amongst the many that he already has. I have to be strong and move on. That's what expected of me. I have my moments of weakness. I cry at times still. Too much for my liking but sometimes it just hits me that I have no one. Friends aside, I really don't have that many people I can rely on. I have never learnt the art of relying on another individual.

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I'm not going for my friend's wedding. Part of the reason is that I'm afraid seeing her getting married will remind me of where I'm NOT at. And I hate that feeling. Ais asked, "but you love your life right?" No doubts about that. What's not to love? But I think it hits you when it is your friend, someone who's the same age as you and they seemed to have move to a place where I have never been, and might never go.

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Am I holding on to something so unsubstantial at the moment? Or better yet, WHY am I holding on to something so unsubstantial as a relationship that might not happen, a friendship that might be an illusion too? No wait, that's not being fair. We are good friends. Or were. But like I said, the grip is not as strong, the conviction is still there, but would I be proven wrong?

I love that place!! I love the band, I love the music, I love the people, I like Dan the waiter (very sweet boy). It's been a long long time that I like a club this much that i don't mind spending money on drinks AND entrance! goodness. It's quite mad actually. But other than last friday whereby it was a tad too crowded and some people don't realise that the dance floor is actually teeny weeny and attempted to swing and swirl. Come back on a weekday to do that. People barely has room to move and there they are, swirling like idiots, we had great times there. Eye candy in the band surely helped too! :)

And I danced on stage last night. Exhilarating experience! enjoyed every second of it. Makes me wonder sometimes WHY i didn't go the performance way since i seem to love it. But perhaps only with alcohol in the stomach. hahahaha! Think I'm gonna go get the membership. Honestly, 2 trips to movida would have been enough to pay for the membership hahahah! so yeah... gonna get it tonight perhaps. :) And use it like mad this holidays. Ais already said I'm supposed to go every night there with her before i go to Taipei. hee! :) Need to update my clubbing wardrobe. Yesterday was probably one of my most dressed down outfit, a normal white top with jeans... running out of mad clubbing clothes. Think I shall go out now and shop ard a little. taz!