Remember how me and Ais were mad about Movida back in Dec, then we kinda stopped going because school started and also we felt that we were "forgotten" by the people who mattered. The last few experiences were not too bad and Movida did lose its magical and fantastic hold on us.

BUT

It's all back!!! Yesterday's visit was such a good memory that now we look forward to going there again... perhaps every week. It is such a great feeling to feel belonged once again. The people who mattered recognised us (ok. I know they do. It's just that Ais felt they didn't and she felt really shitty about that), I won a "booty shaking" contest.. (haha!) and just a really feel good night. It really felt like I fought a battle and won. The feeling was indescribable.

Next week, we are going to meet up with more people who mattered! can't wait. Something to look forward to at the end~

Look at him... isn't he the CUTEST???

This is the harvest of today's class. I LOVE the box!!! Check it out~~

This is how it looks on the outside. I didn't take shots of the insides because there isn't much fanciful stuff... But the cover kinda do the trick. It's a lot of vintage and very very victorian feel to it. I love the door knob. Don't you just adore it???









This is the close-up of the words on the top cover. I am going to attempt making name tags for the girlies and we'll see what happens. Will put up pictures of finished product.

While it's not original, as in someone created something similar but mine's somewhat unique still. Because the way I painted the layout and the matting is slightly different. There are some changes. I like both and I realised I'm really quite good with painting. Heehehehehehe... :p

Here.. lookee see!!

This is Ais' present. I painted the heart and doodled the flowers at the side. The camera was traced out from a piece of paper onto transparency plus the "click click" So this is dedicated to her (and my new passion) - Photography. So we are just waiting for the right photo(s) to be put onto the mat. The mask (Ais' name) was written free hand on transparency and cut out. The splatter effect at the bottom is done using a new product - glimmer mist. Very nice effect. :)




And this is KK's b-day layout. We were doing this layout and the numbers were just gonna be all in a cluster at the bottom when I remembered that I promised a b-day layout for my friends. So yeah, K's the first. Probably can't put many photos or big ones for that matter. Probably just 2 2R photos on the yellow and red. But I used eyelets.. Wanted to make it mobile but it was difficult because of the space constraints. I think it's a nice layout too. Then again, I made it so it's normal... heehee...

These are the things that have been keeping me sane - doing handicraft. If not I would go crazy I think.

I'd start with the earliest all the way to the latest...


A photoframe that I rubber-stamped and then embossed. Not the best effect but it's quite pretty.












This is actually a small corkboard i bought from Daiso. Basically, I just came up with a very simple layout and use paper scraps to mark out areas where the photos should go and I gave the receiver instructions on what to put in each of the frame. The large rectangle on the left is for a picture of him and his wife, the two smaller rectangles on the top right are for his two children and the bottom horizontal rectangle is for the family portrait. The words say "from you 'n' I to US". So i thought it's kind of simple and all. the problem will come with looking for the photos of the right size. the large rectangle is for a 4R photo but it has to be slightly smaller otherwise the words will be covered. the two small rectangles are for 2R pictures and the last rectangle is the troublesome one. It's 3" by 5". But i think if he manages to find the right photos it will be a very good keepsake.


This is the first (hopefully) of the series of name placards that i'm gonna make for the ladies in the 4th floor staff room. Made a card for Michy the other day. Again, the most difficult part of this creation was cutting the three modes of transportation and making it slightly 3D. The rest is pretty much rubber stamping and glazing with embossing. Can't really see the embossing effect on this one. But it's not too bad. The blue frame is for him to put a photo of herself or something she likes. Right now, I'm making things for people but i don't insert the photos since i can't find suitable ones or not given. So I will try to leave frames for them to go and put it together. La la la la... I'm attending at least one course a week just to give me something to look forward to. Sad but true.. Hai~~ what to do.. have to find something to do... that makes me happy.

Here's a novel idea and a testament to my great imagination and optimism and whatever else.

What can't the time-tables of teachers be adjusted in a manner whereby we can all have one day off day each week? If it can work for adjunct teachers, it can work for regular teachers no? Or are you telling me that an adjunct teacher work less hours than a regular teacher? Or, oh we are getting to the core of the issue - that regular teachers have more duties than adjunct teachers. that is without a doubt. because a lot of us are required to do more than the adjunct teachers. I'm not complaining against the adjunct teachers. Like I said, they are important esp in my working environment. What I'm having problems with is definitely the fact that our physical presence is considered as part of our performance in a school context. So a teacher cannot be effective if she's not physically there? I believe some teachers who have to meet the marking dateline would put up a delicate argument stating that if they do not have to see to the other duties of what goes on in a school in a day, they might be able to finish marking what they are able to. Granted, when one teacher is absent, another has to take up the slack. But ultimately my question is this: Why aren't the top management looking at why the MC rate is so high? Why do we have to shoulder the burden of having to be there despite our mental and physical state? Do you think we would be truthful about the state of our mental health because if we said our mental health is suffering, it's another cross against us. "Oh she's not in the best of mental health, she doesn't show resilience and that goes against the school's creed of having resilience and therefore she's a BAD teacher." My gosh. Dealing with people's perception of us can drive us mad on its own.

An average school day for any teacher is about 8-10 hours. Check the sign-in and sign-out book and you will see that. That seems to be reasonable since everyone seems to work the same hours. So an average week, I would have worked 40-50 hours. Out of this 40-50 hours, I teach a total of 15 hours. Which is about less than 50%. Where does the other 50% go? If a secretary's job is to assist the boss, does she only do that 50% of the time? My job is to teach. If I have to spend more than 50% of my time doing everything else, something is wrong. You might argue that whatever extra things I do, it's still for the students. I will look at you straight in the eye and ask "is it?"

I would rather spend 3 hrs coaching my students than to spend it in a meeting where it's mostly information/instructions dissemination.

I would rather spend 2 hours playing basketball/badminton/whatever with my students than have to attend a workshop that is deemed important by the management but have no direct impact on the students.

I would rather spend 2 hours having conversation with my students than to teach them all the time.

I would rather enjoy a Saturday off without having the guilty feeling that I should be marking or doing some work now.

What, or more specifically, HOW can a student learn effectively after being in school for 9 hours? How is having the entire class down for remedial going to help with leveling up the abilities of our students?

How will hosting and participating in community events benefit our students? Are they in the major phrase of planning and executing the event?

Are we losing focus on what education should be about?


Then you ask, why aren't you telling all these to your management or even better, MOE? If the answer is not obvious to you, you either have not been in Singapore long enough or you do not have contact with any civil servants or you are not Asian. Openly expressing your frustrations can be considered rude, undermining your superior's authority or you are a rebel. Which are all considered insecure for the social fabric of our nation. It's like if you dare question your superior, you are questioning the ways of the nation leaders, which in turn can be said to be tearing the bare thread of the social fabric. We are still in the midst of discussing whether demostrations can be carried out publicly. Are we primitive or something? I always snort at the notion that our country is a democratic country. It's like saying the pledge every morning. "To build a democratic society based on Justice and Equality" Which part of the building are we at? Since we are still reciting the same thing for the past 25 years at least, with all due respect to Mr. S. Rajaratnam, the vision is still blurry at best.

I'm in my high resentment period right now. Really I am. Every single term, towards the end, I will always have an identity and purpose crisis. Why am I a teacher? If I want to do data-entry, I shall go be a secretary. Why am I now the one responsible for the moral upbringing of my students when it should be their parents who are the ones responsible? Why am I said to be a bad teacher if I'm not there physically? If we only depend on results to tell whether I'm a good teacher or not, then our education system has not progressed. We are still stuck in the merits of meritocracy without examining the ill-effects of it. We are under the illusion that if there is a strata of the population which can be singled out to lead the country and be the pillar of strength in the economic sense, then we are safe. WE ARE NOT. If we continue to laud the merits of meritocracy, it will be like saying the fish is definitely fresh if it's steamed.

In my imaginary world, I'm allowed to do what I want and when I like. Maybe I should be locked up for having an imaginary world since creativity can only be taught and not a part of human nature. And having too big an imagination might also one day be deemed as tearing apart the bare thread of the nation's social fabric because I dared envision a possibility. And we all know that all rebellion emerged from a possibility.

Right.

I thought a job is always supposed to make you feel purposeful.
Yet.
At this job, I would start off with optimism and purpose
But after some weeks or even days, my optimism and purpose will wear off.
When I'm immersed in my job, I don't have time to think about my personal life
And it somehow made life a little easier to bear.
But my work buffer wears thin, and I'm not getting anywhere,
be it personal life or professional life,
I get pissed off and depressed.
I get all teary and pessimistic.
I even ask myself why.
Is this job really that self-defeating?
Is not caring the solution to all these problems?
Is closing people off the only way to survive in this job?
Just do what is required and that's that.

I have been very angsty the past 2 days. It's probably general crap that I have to put up with and an accumulation resulting in tantrums and mood swings. I really don't understand the need for some of the things I have to do. Goddammit. I'm a teacher not a bloody administrator. or a form creator for that matter. If they really want to use the scheme, we should just direct them to the bloody website. It's terribly counter-productive to have to create a form to meet the needs of the students when they don't want to meet their own needs. If we want to use up all the opportunity fund, then why didn't we have it in place already? ok. angsty. I still have to do it. Maybe I'm just finding excuses not to do it.

Which brings me to the next point. We heard so much about how to lower the attrition rate. My suggestion last year and will continue to be such is to allow teachers to engage in activities that they have a vested interest in. What a waste of resources when we have teachers who can teach dance and yet an external vendor is engaged to choreograph. I'm like thats kind of dumb. I'm just pissed I guess. I'm always pissed anyway.

Argh! Angry la whatever!