I hope I will remember to smile every time I come round here...
♥ DancingSheep
three cheers for me.
If this is about me, I really shouldn't be writing it. Because I don't know me.
7:35 PM
Thursday, April 3, 2008
I think I'm having the worst day of my teaching career. The fight that was totally unnecessary. The aftermath that was teary and headachy and pukey. I was angry, really angry for the first time with this class, with this situation. Usually, they irritate and frustrate but today really marks a real low point in my career thus far. I actually got angry and walked out. I actually cried. I actually had to go back and get them to shut their mouths. The disappointment is immense. The sense of failure is even greater. The feeling of shame is definitely there.
Ais just talked to me on the phone. She asked me to make a stand about giving up 3T1. I will admit now that this is the one class that has been my greatest failing to date. I want to give up yet I don't want them to feel that they are really no good and no worthy of permanence. Exactly what am I doing wrong, I really have no idea. I know I'm not doing anything right but what is this total defeated feeling I'm getting? I don't think I can ever be one of those teachers who would walk away. I don't want to be. Yet my sanity is on the line. My sanity versus 40 students who are disillusioned with life at the age of 15, 40 students who have been told time and again that they are not worth the effort. Do I really get a choice I wonder?
